Prayer: Oh please God. Let me pass this exam. I promise to be a good person.
Response: *gasp* How dare you attempt to bribe me. Shame on you! *strikes lightening*
Prayer: Oh please God. Let my friend get better soon! He's a really good person.
Response: seriously. I had no idea this person was a good person. Thank you for taking care of that for me. Also, it makes my job a whole lot easier when you tell me what to do. /sarcasm *strikes lightening*
Prayer: Oh please God. Help the poor victims of so-and-so disaster in so-and-so country!
Response: why don't you get off your ass and help them yourself. I didn’t put you on Earth for nothing. *refrains from striking lightening* *person doesn't get off the couch* *strikes lightening*
Prayer: Oh please God. I hope that murderer rots in hell!
Response: you really wouldn't like that smell. *smirk* *strikes lightening out of boredom*
Prayer: Oh please God. Don't strike lightening on me today!
Response: Fyyne. You little whiner bitch. *strikes lightening* GOTCHA! Maybe you should ground yourself better.
Perplexed Question: Are we supposed to believe Science?
Response: Build yourself a lightening rod and let's see who wins. *waits to strike lightening* *slowly starts to flood the plane*
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Questions to audience: So, what is the point of prayer if God is omniscient? Are we audacious enough to try and persuade this God figure to change the course of action because WE asked? Isn't that a little bit ambitious?
